The Prince Diary 王子日記

僅以此歌，送給所有躲在共和黨與教會當中，身為同志卻又欺壓同志的 Gay / Lesbian。

姐，不要再裝了！如果你是Gay，其實很OK；如果你是Gay，我會叫「萬歲」！！

當然唱英文歌詞是原汁原味，不過我亦盡量將中文歌詞翻譯的適合演唱，大家可以跟著唱喔！

  

「If You Were Gay」

ROD
Aah, an afternoon alone with 啊，悠閒的下午
My favorite book, "Broadway 閱讀我最愛的書
Musicals of the 1940s." ." 「1940年代百老匯音樂劇」
No roommate to bother me. 沒有煩人的室友
How could it get any better than this? 真是太爽了

NICKY
Oh,hi Rod! Hi，Rod！

ROD
Hi Nicky.喔… Nicky

NICKY
Hey Rod, you'll never 嘿，Rod，猜猜看
Guess what happened to 今天我早上搭捷運時
Me on the subway this morning. 發生什麼事？
This guy was smiling at me and talking to me 有個男人對我笑又跟我講話

ROD
That's very interesting. 喔

NICKY
He was being real friendly, 他對我超好
And I think he was coming on to me. 我想他可能在跟我搭訕
I think he might've thought I was gay! 我想他搞不好以為我是Gay！

ROD
Ahem, so, uh, why are you telling me this? 哦…. 跟我講這幹嘛？
Why should I care? 這干我什麼事？
I don't care. 跟我沒關係吧。
What did you have for lunch today? 你今天中午吃什麼？

NICKY
Oh, you don't have to get 喔，你不用防衛心那麼強嘛…
All defensive about it, Rod...

ROD
I'm NOT getting defensive! （高八度）我哪有防衛心強！
What do I care about some gay guy you met, okay? ? 我幹麼管什麼你在街上遇到的Gay
I'm trying to read. 我只想好好的讀本書

NICKY
Oh, I didn't mean anything by it, Rod. 喔，我又沒有別的意思
I just think it's something we should be able to talk about. 我只是想我們講這種事應該沒關係….

ROD
I don't want to talk about it, 我不想講這種事
Nicky! This conversation is over!!! Nicky！我不想講了！！

NICKY
Yeah, but... 可是…

ROD
OVER!!! 不要講啦！！

NICKY
Well, okay, but just so you know — 好啦，但只是要你知道 --
IF YOU WERE GAY 如果你是Gay
THAT'D BE OKAY. 真的很 OK
I MEAN 'CAUSE, HEY, 我要你知道
I'D LIKE YOU ANYWAY. 我們友誼不會跌
BECAUSE YOU SEE, 如果有一天
IF IT WERE ME, 我也愛上Gay
I WOULD FEEL FREE 我將會面對
TO SAY THAT I WAS GAY 不害怕出櫃
(BUT I'M NOT GAY.) (但我不是Gay)

ROD
Nicky, please! Nicky，拜託，
I am trying to read.... 我在唸書…
What?! 怎樣啦？！

NICKY
IF YOU WERE QUEER 如果你是酷兒

ROD
Ah, Nicky! 啊！Nicky！

NICKY
I'D STILL BE HERE, 我仍會在這兒

ROD
Nicky, I'm trying to read this book. Nicky，我在讀書啦！

NICKY
YEAR AFTER YEAR 一年復一年

ROD
Nicky! Nicky！

NICKY
BECAUSE YOU'RE DEAR
TO ME, 因為友情難捨

ROD
Argh! （氣的半死）啊啊啊！！

NICKY
AND I KNOW THAT YOU 而且我知道

ROD
What? 怎樣？

NICKY
WOULD ACCEPT ME TOO, 你也會接納我

ROD
I would? 我會？

NICKY
IF I TOLD YOU TODAY, 若今天是我對你說
"HEY! GUESS WHAT, （高八度）「你知道嗎
I'M GAY!" 我是 Gay！」
(BUT I'M NOT GAY.) （但我不是 Gay）
I'M HAPPY 做你的朋友
JUST BEING WITH YOU. 我感到很高興

ROD
High Button Shoes, Pal Joey...（假裝看書）蔡琴… 張曼玉…

NICKY
SO WHAT SHOULD IT
MATTER TO ME 所以我根本不在乎
WHAT YOU DO IN BED 你在床上
WITH GUYS? 跟男人幹什麼！

ROD
Nicky, that's GROSS! Nicky，很噁耶！

NICKY
No it's not! 哪會！
IF YOU WERE GAY 如果你是 Gay
I'D SHOUT HOORAY! 我會叫「萬歲」！

ROD
I am not listening! 我不想聽了！

NICKY
AND HERE I'D STAY, 我還會在這裡

ROD
La la la la la! 啦啦啦！

NICKY
BUT I WOULDN'T GET
IN YOUR WAY. 但不會阻止你玩親親

ROD
Aaaah! 啊啊啊！

NICKY
YOU CAN COUNT ON ME 你可以相信我
TO ALWAYS BE 將永遠陪伴你
BESIDE YOU EVERY DAY, 在生命中的每一天
TO TELL YOU IT'S OKAY, 告訴你其實很OK
YOU WERE JUST BORN 愛男人沒什麼不對
THAT WAY,
AND, AS THEY SAY, 就像他們說的
IT'S IN YOUR DNA, 都在你的 DNA
YOU'RE GAY! 你是 Gay！！

ROD
BUT I'M NOT GAY! 可是我不是Gay！

NICKY
If you were gay. ”如果”你是Gay。

ROD
Argh! 啊！

有時候身為Gay並不OK，政治前途、宗教信仰等等，都可能讓事情非常不OK。但如果你的親友能夠了解並體認這其實很OK，許多包袱都可以拋下，事情會慢慢變的OK。

這首「If You Were Gay / 如果你是Gay」出自於百老匯音樂劇「Avenue Q」。劇中的 Rod 是個共和黨員，是不敢面對自己、又暗戀室友的 Gay。他陽光又青春的室友 Nicky 其實早就懷疑很久了，所以跟 Rod 說：「你如果是Gay，我也覺得沒關係呀！」，但是 Rod 當然是死不承認。有趣的是，Nicky 一面說如果別人是 Gay 他不會在意，但一方面又一直強調自己不是 Gay。油兔上居然有這首歌的完整版，大家觀賞一下：

哈利波特之如果你是Gay。
越是迫害同志的，越有可能是同志；在學校越欺負你的，就越有可能是喜歡你的？！